Your children will benefit
They will be the biggest winners of all. Studies have shown that the children of divorcing parents tend to lose their sense of security when their parents continuously argue, many times blaming themselves for the separation. Letting the children see two adults working through their separation through cooperation instead of conflict helps restore their confidence that everything will ultimately be alright.
Your discussions with your mediator are privileged. Any notes, written or oral communications, and draft memoranda would not be admissible in, nor may your mediator be subpoenaed to appear in any court proceeding. Additionally, any offers that you might make or receive in mediation are also not admissible. In other words, feel free to explore all possibilities without the fear of it coming back to you should you reach an impasse and have to resort to litigation. This assures that your private matters remain private.
You are empowered and in control
You are in control of all of your decisions because, after all, you know what is best for you. Relinquishing control to the attorneys and a judge or jury makes you feel not only helpless, but uneasy because you have no idea of what the ruling may be. In mediation, there is no judge to impose any decision upon you and you agree only to what works for the both of you.
Statistically, fifty percent of all couples are back in court within a year seeking a modification to a court imposed judgment or on a contempt charge for not complying with an order. Additionally, mediated settlements tend to last much longer because the participants are in sole control of their own decisions.
It works for a lot of people
Mediation is great for couples who are agreeable, but it can offer tremendous advantages to those who are in disagreement. A little hurt and anger can actually help the process along because in many cases it causes the participants to empower themselves and stand up for what they believe. Many couples who have poor communication skills and are in high conflict are amazed at the success they have had at the negotiating table. Remember that your mediator is trained in helping you settle your disputes, so success amid anger and frustration is very common. The atmosphere is relaxed and casual.
It costs far less than going to court
Everyone knows that divorce robs you of your sanity. If you litigate, it also robs you of your money. A typical litigated divorce can cost from $10,000 to $30,000 each, can strip you of your retirement and deprive your children of their college education. In the end, it makes the court decision less meaningful as there are fewer assets to award.
Having an experienced, competent mediator guiding you through the process of effective communication and agreement building helps you achieve your goals very productively. Your experienced mediator will help keep you attentive to your discussion and minimize your distractions, keeping you both negotiating effectively and efficiently. The more productive your discussions, the less time it takes and the less cost to you.